


Long Awaited

by ElentariR



Series: Getting Back to Myself [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes's Plums, Developing Relationship, F/M, Hydra Grant Ward, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:21:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7516750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElentariR/pseuds/ElentariR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night of verbal disaster and another night of chaos bring utter upheaval to Bucky's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Her ring was gone.

The after-Thanksgiving bustle in the elementary school, Steven’s book report, and overtime at the warehouse to cover for a sick coworker had precluded Bucky from spending anytime with Noelle or Steven. He missed them, and the few texts they exchanged simply wasn’t the same. So, nearly two full weeks had passed before they were able to get together for dinner on Wednesday evening.

Noelle’s naked ring finger distracted Bucky from her exclamation of surprise when she opened the door to find him holding a tray of freshly and carefully baked raspberry muffins, one of her favorites.

Bucky almost couldn’t believe his eyes. He had to work to not stare in disbelief and hope.

“These are for you.” He pushed them into her hands and promptly kicked himself for his abruptness. Noelle didn’t seem to notice or mind. She accepted them with the briefest of hugs and a beaming smile before ushering him cheerfully inside.

There was a lightness about her, despite the dark circles under her eyes. She was at peace. And Bucky was genuinely happy for her.

“How was your day?” Noelle asked with a smile. Bucky shrugged. A nervous energy buzzed through his body.

“Long.” He smiled ruefully. He was grateful for Noelle’s sympathetic smile. “Meatballs?” He gestured towards the kitchen. “Smells good.” It always did when Noelle cooked.

Noelle grinned. “Yep. And pasta. And a special something for dessert that I think you’ll like.”

Bucky brightened. “Pie?” He hoped it was pie. He didn’t realize he loved pie so much until Thanksgiving. Noelle’s brownies were also sublime. He’d be happy as a clam with brownies, too – or anything she put in front of him.

“Not quite.” Noelle shook her head with an amused smile. “But...you’ll like it. Trust me.”

“I do.” His voice, soft and solemn, gave her pause. Noelle blinked. They stood frozen in place, eyes locked. Bucky could feel an odd sort of tension between them that was not unpleasant.

Ever possessing impeccable timing, Steven bounded up and gave Bucky a very enthusiastic greeting. Bucky smiled and leaned down to give the boy a hug. Steven was a hugger, Bucky had come to appreciate. “I set the table.” Steven announced proudly.

“And it looks like you did an amazing job.” Bucky praised. Steven beamed.

“Come on, let’s eat.” Noelle said. Bucky held a breath when her hand grazed his back. He doubted Noelle realized she had done so – she seemed focused on her son and corralling him to the dinner table. Bucky chose to take her actions as a positive sign.

Noelle’s salad, meatballs and penne pasta with a tomato sauce provided a delicious and filling meal. She presented dessert with her lower lip snagged between her teeth. “Plum tarts.” Noelle softly provided the name.

They looked good.

“Plums help prevent mental deterioration, improve memory, and reduce anxiety.” Noelle explained casually. Steven didn’t take an interest, but Bucky certainly did.

Because Noelle was, in her own sweet way, was demonstrating her care and affection for him. Bucky could only hope that her affection could lean in a romantic way.

The first bite melted in his mouth. Bucky moaned softly. It was delicious. Noelle looked inordinately pleased. “Are you ever wrong?” Bucky asked around a large bite of tart, momentarily forgetting his table manners.

“Mom is _always_ right.” Steven supplied in a tone that suggested he had rather his statement was false. Bucky chuckled. Noelle merely shrugged modestly.

“Thank you.” Bucky found that his voice was low and thick; his throat was tight with emotion. He ignored the burning behind his eyes.

Noelle smiled softly. “You are most welcome. I am glad you like them.”

And for a moment, they were the only ones in the room.

“Can I go?” Steven asked, sounding very bored. Noelle arched her eyebrow at him. Steven sighed and took a deep breath. “May I please be excused?”

“Yes, you may. Thank you for asking nicely.” Noelle said. Steven wasted no time in dashing out of his seat. He barely remembered to take his dirty plate to the kitchen. Noelle glanced at Bucky. “I have a few left over – already put them in Tupperware for you.”

“I’m falling in love with you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Noelle’s mouth parted slightly, her eyes wide. She was immobile. Bucky’s heart hammered and his stomach dropped out. The chair nearly fell to the floor when he stood abruptly. His face flamed. All he could see was Noelle’s dumbfounded expression. Her chest frozen mid-breath.

Bucky was out the door before Noelle could stand.

How could he be so stupid? To just blurt it out. And she had only just removed her ring. What was he thinking? It was stupid and inconsiderate. His chest squeezed painfully. He could only imagine how much his thoughtless action had hurt her. And after she had been so sweet… So caring… So beautifully Noelle.

He really didn’t deserve her.

Bucky slammed his fist down on his table. It splintered and collapsed. He kicked the rubble angrily. Stupid, stupid, stupid – that’s what he was.

He continued to pummel the accompanying wooden chair and the remnants of his table until his anger was spent. He collapsed onto his bed and held his Captain America bear close to his chest. He couldn’t stem the tide of the tears that coursed down his cheeks.

Bucky registered the ringing of his phone. He threw it across the room without looking at the screen. It crunched when it hit the wall, but he didn’t care.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had just ruined the only good relationship he was likely to have. Despair consumed him.

Sleep did not come.

0

It was a miserable week. Sleep was elusive and his depression unshakeable. He hadn’t spoken to or seen Noelle since that night. It was dark and rainy, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that another sort of storm was coming – one that was worse than the storm in his heart and mind. He never spotted a recon team, but something was about to happen. And without concrete evidence he wouldn’t further disrupt Noelle and Steven’s lives.

He had already done enough damage.

Late Monday night, Bucky trudged up the stairs towards his apartment after working several hours of overtime. He felt thin and stretched – taut with tension and lack of sleep. His steps slowed two flights from his floor. The hairs on the back of his neck raised and the skin tingled. Something wasn’t right. He proceeded with caution, his mind sharpening. He slipped his knife into his hand.

His apartment door appeared untouched, but his gut told him that the appearance was deceiving. Quick as a flash, Bucky dashed down the stairs and out the doors. Noelle and Steven were supposed to be at Mike and Joy’s house until later in the evening – for which he was grateful.

Bucky scaled the building with assistance from the fire escape. He slipped through the window into his bedroom. Nothing appeared to be disturbed. But there was movement in the living room. Bucky gripped the knife more tightly and silently pushed the bedroom door open.

“I highly suggest that you leave. Right now.” Bucky growled. There was a man – tall, muscled, and dark haired – standing by the chair in the living room. Bucky recognized his face from the news – Grant Ward. HYDRA. Bucky immediately switched his knife out for a handgun and trained it on Ward’s head.

Ward held up his hands. “Whoa there. Easy. I’m just here to talk.”

Bucky snorted. “HYDRA never wants to talk.” His eyes narrowed. “Give me one _very good_ reason why I shouldn’t put a bullet in your brain.”

Ward drew his lips together and shrugged. He took two steps forward. The veneer of politeness disappeared, matching the cold darkness of his eyes. “How about two very good reasons?”

Bucky’s blood ran cold. He said nothing. He inclined his head.

Ward held up his phone to show a picture of Noelle and Steven. They were walking into the apartment building – a surveillance photo. “I’ve got men on them now.” Ward said conversationally. He waved the phone briefly. “Shoot me and they die.”

Bucky didn’t respond. He continued to assess Ward and the situation.

Ward frowned at Bucky’s behavior. He took another step forward. “If you don’t comply...” He shrugged. “They die.”

That was certainly the HYDRA way. But Bucky suspected Ward was lying – at least in part. “What do you want?” Bucky asked finally. He continued to keep his gun trained on the intruder.

“I know a guy. He’s assembling a team of powered people. He needs someone to train them. He wants you. Heard you had experience.”

The muscles around the corner of Bucky’s eyes tightened. “I’m not interested. And I wouldn’t take another step if I were you.”

“That’s a shame.” Ward sighed. “You must be truly heartless if you’re willing to sacrifice their lives. She’s pleading for her life, you know. I can hear her.” Ward tapped his ear and nodded. “Waterworks and all. And you’re going to kill her.” He inhaled and shook his head with a sad smile. “Gotta say that I’m surprised. Thought you loved her. But, the hard way it is.”

Bucky smiled – slow and grim, and filled with white-hot rage. And he fired.

Ward was every bit as good as the news had said. He barely dodged the shot. Suddenly Bucky’s apartment was swarming with HYDRA agents, armed to the teeth and dressed all in black.

Bucky made quick work of them, but Ward had escaped in the melee. The cowardly act only mildly surprised Bucky. He should have killed Ward when he had a chance. He kicked himself.

Most of his apartment was destroyed. None of his furniture escaped unscathed. Bullet holes riddled the walls and floor. Dents marked several places in the walls where HYDRA agents had been hurled into them. He was certainly not getting his security deposit back.

Bucky didn’t linger. He knew more agents were coming – HYRDRA would be fools indeed if they thought a mere dozen agents would be enough to capture him. He snagged a phone off a fallen agent – he hadn’t been able to let all of them live – and quickly dialed as he fled the way he came, barely pausing to grab his go-bag. He slung the backpack over his shoulders.

“Hello?” Noelle’s voice was a balm to Bucky’s ears. He knew Ward hadn’t truly had her, but it was still relief to hear her on the other end.

“Noelle, run.” Bucky ordered.

“Bucky?” She was confused.

“There’s something stuck in my shoe.”

She inhaled sharply. “Get it out and be safe.”

Bucky ended the call and crushed the phone.

Ward had not gotten Noelle and Steven – a gross mistake Bucky doubted Ward would make again. He would be going after them, or he would be sending someone after them. Bucky needed to get to Noelle and Steven before Ward did. And he didn’t have a moment to lose.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Captain America.” Steven breathed reverently. The man stood in the middle of the room, arms folded across his chest. His expression was torn between distrustful, grim, and hopeful.
> 
> “Bucky’s in trouble.” Noelle rushed the words out before Steve could question her. “I don’t know where and I don’t know what kind. He didn’t say. He just told us to run. Here.”

“What’s happening?” Steven asked sleepily. He rubbed his eyes and pouted at the interruption of his impromptu nap. He had fallen asleep in the car riding back from his aunt and uncle’s house only to be awoken by the loud ringing of his mother’s phone as they entered the parking garage for their apartment building.

Noelle looked back at him in the rearview mirror as she drove out of the garage and forced a smile. “It’s alright, sweetie.” Noelle assured. “We’re going on an adventure – that’s all.” Thankfully she had insisted Steven use the bathroom before they left Joy’s house.

Steven frowned. “But you said it was bedtime.”

“I know, sweetie.” Noelle said quietly. Worry ate at her.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” Steven loved surprises. Although she had just ensured that he wouldn’t fall asleep on the way. She supposed that was probably a good thing.

Noelle drove more aggressively and recklessly than she ever had, weaving between cars and dodging pedestrians illuminated by streetlight. Later she would marvel that she wasn’t pulled over. The drive seemed endless. Time dragged. It seemed that they would never arrive at their destination.

“Mommy?” Stevens tentative voice was heavily tainted with fear. Noelle swallowed hard and grimaced. “Mommy, I’m scared. What’s going on?”

“Everything’s going to be alright.” Noelle tried to keep her voice as calm and soothing as she could. “We’re going to a safe place.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where we need to go.” Noelle stated firmly. “Everything is going to be alright, sweetie.” They were almost there, but she couldn’t handle further questioning. Her own nerves were fraying. And what could she tell her son? She didn’t even know what was happening.

Noelle worried more for Bucky than she did for her son, although she did worry for their own safety. Danger to their lives was abstract – but Bucky was under imminent threat. His life – his precious, beautiful life – was in danger from an unknown threat, and there was nothing she could do to help. She could only run. If it kept her son safe and gave Bucky peace of mind, she would gladly do it. Her own fear began to mount as they drove.

Security around Stark Tower was tight. Noelle supposed it had to be, although it was mighty inconvenient and problematic at the moment. She veered into the nearest parking area, grabbed Steven and her purse, and made a beeline for the tower. She tried to slow her brisk pace when Steven complained, but she was soon back at speed. She jumped at every sudden movement, cringed at every shadow.

“Noelle? Is that you? What are you doing out here at this time of night?”

If her nerves weren’t as frazzled, she would have sagged with relief to see a familiar face, albeit one she hadn’t seen in years. “Thank goodness it’s you, Joel. Look, I gotta get inside. It’s really important.”

The former cop frowned. The light from the security booth behind him cast odd shadows. “Are you in some sort of trouble?” Steven looked up at his mother, equally eager for the answer. Noelle glanced down at her son. She still gripped his hand tightly.

“We have to see Steve Rogers.” Noelle insisted. She shifted anxiously, her eyes darting about. “Please. It’s an emergency.” The glass doors to Stark Tower gleamed several yards behind Joel.

Steven’s eyes widened. “ _Captain America_?” He whispered reverently.

Joel hesitated. “You know I can’t do that. I’ll lose my job.” Noelle grimaced and looked down at the ground.

Steven tugged on Noelle’s arm. “Are we gonna see Captain America, Mommy?”

Noelle straightened. Her face was hard with resolve. “Yes. We are.” She turned to Joel. “Look. You will either radio whoever’s in charge and get me in, or I take drastic measures. I have a message for Steve Rogers that he has to receive.” Her hand slipped into her purse, fingers curling around her pepper-spray canister. She wasn’t afraid to use it if that got her son to safety and Bucky help.

She was going to give Bucky hell when she saw him. And he rather needed to be alive for that.

Joel sighed. “Fine. They won’t let you in, but I’ll let them know.” He was true to his word and got on the radio.

Noelle tipped up and down on her toes. She glanced around nervously. She stiffened, heart-rate accelerating, when she saw a group of three men in a v-formation heading right towards them. Noelle was not a tactics expert, but she had lived with enough of them to know that the men were very likely armed and dangerous. And they were coming for her and her son.

“Steven, run. Get inside.” Noelle ordered softly. Steven hadn’t seen the men, but promptly obeyed. He ran like the wind. She turned to Joel. “Those men are coming for us. Please, we have to get inside. We have to talk to Steve Rogers _now_.”

Joel glanced over Noelle’s shoulder. His eyes narrowed. His hand rested on the gun on his hip, the other reached for his radio. “Go.”

She heard Joel radio in the incident as she ran towards her son and the door. Noelle flung open the door. She pulled Steven in behind her. A loud mechanical sound indicated that she had reached the tower just in time – the building had locked down. But she didn’t care – they were inside.

Noelle dropped to her knees in front of Steven, eyes and hands frantically searching his body for injury. “Mom, what’s going on?” The thrill of potentially meeting Captain America, one of his biggest heroes, had worn off. He didn’t know what was happening, but he knew it was something bad and he was scared.

“I need to see Steve Rogers.” Noelle said loudly as rushed to the security desk, once again dragging Steven behind her. Tears welled in her eyes and she fought to control the bubbling hysteria within.

The guard rose when muffled shots rang out. “Ma’am, you and your son are safe in here. All procedures are being followed.” His gaze was focused on the activities outside. Noelle stifled a sob, hand over her mouth, when she saw Joel fall. She hugged Steven to her body.

Noelle whirled on the guard. She pointed her pepper-spray at him. “Get me Steve Rogers _now_ or so help me I will make you wish you weren’t born _._ ” Noelle demanded.

The guard arched an eyebrow and deftly plucked the canister from her hand. Noelle scowled. She did not notice that the assailants had been dealt with.

“Mrs. Grey, please remain calm.” A calm male British voice sounded from the speakers. Steven stared at the ceiling, awestruck.

Noelle huffed and stamped her foot. Desperately she cried out, “There’s a jerk waiting to give him his stupid back! Just let me talk to Steve Rogers!”

There was momentarily silence. “Mr. Winters, please escort Mrs. Grey and her son to the elevator.”

And so Noelle and Steven found themselves riding up the elevator in Stark Tower. The male voice kindly identified himself as J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony Stark’s natural-language user interface. The elevator doors opened into a spacious living area. Plush couches and chairs filled the space in a neat, orderly fashion. Plants and other decorations gave the room color in the current dim lighting. An upscale bar with a bountiful liquor supply consumed part of the room. There was only one other occupant in the room.

Steve Rogers.

Steven was immediately sent into awestruck silence; Noelle knew it wouldn’t last long.

“Captain America.” Steven breathed reverently. The man stood in the middle of the room, arms folded across his chest. His expression was torn between distrustful, grim, and hopeful.

“Bucky’s in trouble.” Noelle rushed the words out before Steve could question her. “I don’t know where and I don’t know what kind. He didn’t say. He just told us to run. Here.”

Steve Rogers’ body language changed. His arms released slowly to his side and his face became more wary.

Steven looked up at his mother. “Maybe Mr. James can help.” He looked at his hero. “Mr. James has an awesome metal arm. Mom says I’m not allowed to ask him about it, but I touched it once. It was _awesome_.” He looked back at his mom. “Mr. James is good at helping. He could help Captain America!”

Noelle’s eyes pleaded with Steve. “Please. Bucky told us to come to you.” She recounted Bucky’s phone call. She showed him a candid picture she had snapped of Bucky giving Steven a piggyback ride through Central Park – proof she was not fabricating their relationship. Bucky was looking up at the ecstatic Steven with a broad smile; it was one of her favorite pictures. “He’s still struggling with...everything. But he remembers you.”

Noelle didn't know what to make of the myriad of emotions that flashed across Steve Rogers' face. “He’ll come here. If that’s what he said he’d do, he’ll do it.” Steve said quietly. Noelle bit her lower lip and nodded slowly.

“He’s supposed to.” Noelle replied carefully. She swallowed back tears. “But...” There was no guarantee.

The corners of Steve’s lips turned down slightly. He studied Noelle. “Buck’s a fighter. Always has been. J.A.R.V.I.S is on the lookout for him.” Noelle held her son’s hand more tightly. “Ten minutes and I go myself.”

“Who’s Bucky?” Steven spoke up suddenly. Noelle blinked. She had forgotten.

“That’s Mr. James’ nickname.” Noelle explained, her voice betraying that her mind was far off.

Noelle hadn’t seen Bucky since that night the week before. She knew he was avoiding her. He wouldn’t answer her texts, calls, or knocks on his door. Steven had observed Bucky’s absence with sulking and general moodiness. His mood was only slightly better than hers, though she could conceal it more deftly.

And then the phone call… Bucky wouldn’t have made it unless something severe had happened. The urgency was plain in his voice when he had called. All she could hear in the background was a vague rustling, nothing very informative.

She just wanted him to be safe. Even if she couldn’t see him, if she could just know that he was safe…

“Captain, Sergeant Barnes is heading to you by way of the elevator.” J.A.R.V.I.S. announced. Noelle jumped. Steven was enthralled with the UI. “And I believe you will find that there is no security footage of any of your visitors.”

“The robot is calling him the wrong name.” Steven whispered loudly with a frown.

Eyes wide and heart racing, Noelle stiffened. Steve was in a similar state of tense anticipation.

The ding of the elevator heralded Bucky’s arrival. The doors receded into the walls to reveal Bucky standing very stiff and straight. His eyes immediately found Noelle.

Steve was rooted in place, but Noelle stumbled forward two steps. Bucky met her part way. Her eyes and hands searched him for injuries. Beyond a split lip and a cut on his right cheek, he was unharmed. The blood splattered across his dark red shirt was not his own. Noelle threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. He held her tight, rubbing small circles with his thumbs into her back when a few sobs escaped her.

Noelle pulled away after a minute. She pointed a finger at him, eyes flashing. “Don’t you dare shut us out like that again! I was worried sick about you all week!” She buried her head in his chest and hugged him tightly. “I’m so glad you’re safe and okay.”

“Why is your face beat up?” Steven piped with, his face contorted in confusion. Noelle couldn’t help the brief snort that escaped and she could have sworn she felt Bucky crack the faintest of smiles. She was grateful for the adaptability and resilience of children.

“Bucky.” Steve’s grave voice caused Noelle to tactfully disentangle herself from Bucky and ushering Steven away to the far corner of the room. The silent tension between the two spoke volumes.

This was a reunion that did not need an audience.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re an idiot. Did you know that?”

Bucky reveled in the feeling of Noelle safe in his arms. He hadn’t dared hope for such a warm reception. For a moment it was as if they were alone. But he and Steve had a lot of air that needed to be cleared. He was grateful for Noelle’s discretion.

“You know who I am.” It was a statement, not a question.

Bucky nodded. “You’re Steve.”

“How much do you remember? Of...before?”

Bucky licked his lips. “Enough.”

This seemed to temporarily satisfy Steve, though Bucky knew they would be discussing it in more depth at a later point. Bucky did not particularly look forward to the emotional conversation that would be.

Steve inclined his head. “What happened?”

“HYDRA.” Bucky growled. “Grant Ward tried to...recruit me. I took exception to this.” He clenched his fists. “Can’t imagine why.”

“I’ve seen him on the news.” Steve nodded. He glanced at the young woman who sat in the corner with her son. “Leverage, I assume?”

Bucky snorted. “He tried.” Steve nodded vaguely.

“You two… Are you...” Steve gestured between Noelle and Bucky. “You know.”

“No.” Bucky said quietly. He looked away.

“Ah.” Steve nodded again, this time distinctly uncomfortable. “And you’ve been in Manhattan this whole time?” Hurt tinged his voice. The underlying question of “why didn’t you find me?” was clear.

Bucky had dreaded this part. He didn’t know what to tell Steve. Noelle had asked him that very question one night not too many weeks prior. He didn’t know what to tell Noelle then, just as he didn’t know what to tell Steve now. His own mind was still in many ways a mystery to him. He couldn’t give Steve a satisfactory answer.

“Ward will come for Noelle and Steven. They need protection, more than I can give.” Bucky said instead.

“She seems like quite the dame. She caused quite the ruckus getting in here. Threatened the guard, I believe.” Steve remarked. Bucky’s eyes narrowed. He recognized Steve’s probing tone. He was pleased with Noelle’s behavior, though. “And she knows about HYDRA?”

Bucky nodded. “She knows everything.”

Steve whistled under his breath. He glanced again at Noelle, who deftly kept her son occupied. “They’ll be safe here.” Steve stated quietly. “She’ll be well-protected. HYDRA won’t get to her.”

“Thank you.” Internally, Bucky sighed in relief. He tried to ignore the guilt that rippled through him – crashing into Steve’s life with a woman and son without any notice and begging for shelter and protection. And after not letting Steve know he was in the city or even alive...

“What about you? They’ll come back for you. You know that.”

Bucky pressed his lips together in a grim line. His eyes found Noelle. She looked up from her lap and met his gaze. No words were exchanged, only silent compassion.

“I’ll take care of it.”

Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I know. I’m saying you don’t have to do it alone.”

Bucky smiled faintly. Although he had no recollection of it, he had a feeling that Steve was echoing something Bucky had once told him.

“I think Ward is working alone. Or close to it.” Bucky said. He was eager to turn the conversation to more stable, less emotional, ground. “He had a twelve man team, but I wasn’t followed here – and not because I shook a tail. Only three men came after Noelle and Steven.” Although the guard was killed, Tony Stark’s security system had been remarkably efficient at removing the threat.

Steve frowned and crossed his arms. “HYDRA’s crazy, but they’re not stupid. Anyone smart enough to find you would send more than sixteen men to bring you in.” He whistled under his breath.

Bucky gave an ironic smile. His reputation was not wholly without use. “Exactly. And he doesn’t know how to trigger the Soldier, clearly.”

“Which is good.” Steve interjected.

“Which is very good.” Bucky agreed. He paused and shook his head. He folded his arms over his chest. “No, I don’t think Ward _is_ HYDRA, strictly speaking. There was something about his face when I didn’t comply after he threatened to have his men kill Noelle and Steven… Surprise, definitely. The slightest hint of panic...and something else. Like I wasn’t fitting into his plan and he saw something slip through his fingers.”

“HYDRA isn’t known for remorse or hesitation in killing. Or in kidnapping. A woman and child would be nothing.” Steve said ruefully.

“Yeah. He shouldn’t have cared about Noelle or Steven. But if you only had twelve men at your disposal, you’d be _very_ concerned. I know the news was calling him a HYDRA agent, but I don’t think he really was. I think he’s trying to get into HYDRA. I don’t know. Something was off.”

“Do you think there are more men out there?” Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head. “No. I think it’s just Ward. But that’s no small threat.”

“I have friends who can help.” Steve stated with confidence. Bucky looked away but nodded. Although the offer was appreciated, he couldn’t accept. “You need resources, Buck. HYDRA needs to be stopped.” Bucky didn’t want to admit the veracity of Steve’s statement.

“Someone is putting together a team of powered people. Ward didn’t say who.” Bucky said.

Steve sucked in a breath.

“Excuse me, Captain America sir?” Steven tugged on Steve’s arm. His legs were crossed. Noelle stood a few feet behind, monitoring the interaction. “I need to go to the bathroom.” Noelle cleared her throat politely. Steven glanced over his shoulder. “Oh! I’m sorry. May I please use your bathroom?” Steven looked back at his mom for approval. She smiled encouragingly.

Steve blinked. “Yeah, um… I’ll take you.”

Noelle shadowed her son, Bucky sticking close behind her. She gently nudged him as they walked. “You and I are having a little chat later.”

Bucky nodded, somewhat resigned.

The bathroom was tucked down a short hallway within sight of the common area.

“You guys are welcome to stay here for as long as you need. There’s plenty of room.” Steve said after the young boy closed the door behind him.

“I thought this was Tony Stark’s building.” Bucky was wary, though appreciative on Noelle and Steven’s behalf. Noelle merely frowned.

Steve shrugged. “He won’t mind. Besides, he’s in Europe right now.” Noelle rubbed her upper arms, chilled suddenly. She felt thin and stretched, nerves utterly exhausted. Bucky pulled her close – realizing a half-second later that she didn’t flinch at being held with his left arm.

“Noelle and I need to have a talk.” Bucky informed Steve. He pointed a finger at Steve. “Keep Steven out of trouble. He doesn’t need ice cream. He’ll ask.” He steered Noelle away before she or Steve could protest.

Noelle huffed when Bucky released her upon reaching the corner she and Steven had previously occupied. She craned her neck and stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to see over Bucky’s shoulder. “Steve’s good with kids. Steven’ll be fine.” Bucky assured. He frowned to himself. “This is gonna get confusing.” He shook his head and returned to the task on hand. “We need to talk. Like you said.”

Noelle arched an eyebrow. “Yes, we do. You can’t just up and leave like you did. That was...”

“We need to talk about tonight. What it means.” Bucky interrupted, neatly side-stepping the issue most pressing to Noelle.

Noelle’s expression made it clear that she did not feel that the evening’s events were as pressing as _that_ night. “Someone came after you. Presumably HYDRA. Presumably for your particular set of skills. Presumably they threatened to harm Steven and I. You called. We ran. Now we’re here.” She hitched her shoulder.

Bucky was taken aback. “That’s exactly what happened.” He looked at her seriously. “Ward will very likely come after you and Steven again.”

She frowned at his expression. “What are you saying, Bucky?”

“You can’t go back to your apartment. Going to work is also highly unadvisable.”

“Excuse me?” Noelle hissed. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest, fists clenched. Her cheeks were flushed with anger. “That’s my home! And we’re starting a new unit tomorrow! Steven can’t just quit school! And I kinda need a steady income! The hell we’re not going to school!” She tried to keep her voice low, but it had risen to a respectably high volume by the end. The late hour and events of the day were wearing heavily on her control.

“It’s too dangerous.” Bucky insisted. “He’ll expect you to go back to your apartment, and you’re most vulnerable at school. You both are.”

“What do you expect us to do, Bucky?” Noelle demanded. “We can’t put our lives on hold because of Grant Ward’s psychotic plans, whatever they are! I won’t cower in the corner because he _might_ come for us. There has to be a better solution!”

“We need to keep you safe. Keep Steven safe. You’ll be safe here.”

Noelle’s mouth hung open when the pieces clicked. “You want us to move here. To Stark Tower.” Bucky shrugged. “And do what, exactly? Teachers don’t exactly get a lot of leave, and Steven needs his education. He’s six, Bucky. His birthday is just around the corner. We were gonna have a party with all his friends, remember? And what about you? You’re not exactly in the clear either!”

“I’ll be fine. I can handle Ward. I’ll take care of him.” Bucky said. “ _If_ you have a security detail...” Noelle arched an eyebrow. Bucky tentatively touched her arm. “I’ll talk to Steve. Maybe...maybe he could...help. I don’t want to disrupt your lives. I just want you both to be safe. That’s what’s most important.”

Noelle forced herself to take several deep breaths. She tried to view the situation from Bucky’s perspective and remind herself that she was exhausted and frazzled. She still wasn’t thrilled, but her expression softened. “I can talk to Mike. Steven will be rattled enough as it is. I’ll call in sick tomorrow and keep Steven home while we iron out security details. I can consent to a security detail, provided they aren’t obtrusive.” Observing Bucky’s raised eyebrow, she knew she didn’t really have a choice. She chose to focus on the positive.

Bucky nodded. “Good.”

“How did your talk with him go?”

Bucky shrugged. Noelle gave him a small, encouraging smile. Her anger had faded, replaced by concern and compassion.

“He cares a lot about you.” Noelle said softly.

“Yeah.”

She cocked her head and frowned slightly. The intonation in his voice and the way he looked away… “You’re worth it, Bucky. To Steve. To me. To Steven. You’re a good man with people who care about you. I...” Noelle bit her lip and looked away. She shook her head slowly. “Why did you run, Bucky?” She asked softly. “Steven cried. He missed you.”

Bucky stared down at the floor. Guilt niggled at him. “I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have said...what I did. It wasn’t fair to you. It was too soon. Too abrupt. I hurt you. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it.” His eyes pleaded with her. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Noelle stared at him for a moment. “You’re an idiot. Did you know that?”

Bucky blinked.

“What you said didn’t hurt me. It just surprised me. Running away – _that_ hurt.”

Bucky’s mind raced. “Wait. You’re saying...”

“I’m saying that I’m falling in love with you, too, you great giant idiot!”

Bucky stared at Noelle. He wasn’t entirely certain which startled him more – her loud exasperated tone or her words. He decided on the latter.

“Y...You are?” His heart raced. He was afraid to hope.

“Yes! And if you hadn’t run off and shut me out for a week you would have known that already!”

Bucky’s mouth hung slightly ajar. “Oh.”

“I get that you’re still sorting through stuff, and emotions and whatever are still a struggle but _seriously_. I appreciate your concern, but we gotta work on our communication. And next time – just talk to me. We’ll figure it out.” Noelle offered him a tentative smile.

The surge of emotions nearly staggered Bucky. Hope, elation, joy, pride, and half a dozen others he couldn’t name.

“Do you think it would be alright if I kissed you?” A creeping blush overtook him as he spoke. Noelle nodded shyly. Her own cheeks were tinged pink.

Although initially tentative, both felt the depth of emotion in their kiss and took comfort in the warmth of their embrace.

Across the room, Steve observed their couple with curiosity and amusement. She was feisty, but loving. Steve could see why Bucky liked her. The image of the petite woman shouting unreservedly up at the former assassin was an image to behold. Steve grinned privately and respectfully averted his eyes when they kissed, but he was happy for his friend. He couldn’t help the jab of resentment he felt, though, that Bucky had turned to a stranger over him – that he hadn’t been able to help his friend.

Steven’s stream of unending questions, comments, and stories served as a diversion. The kid was something else. He regaled Steve with dozens of stories about ‘Mr. James’ – going to the zoo, numerous trips to the park, Bucky teaching him how to play baseball, movie nights… Steve’s heart swelled to hear of his friend’s care and nurturing. Bucky had always been a family man. Steve was glad he was finally getting one.

“Mr. Steve, why are they kissing?” Steven asked, breaking Steve out of his reverie.

“Huh?” Steve looked down at the kid. “Oh. Um, they like each other. They’re, um,” Steve cleared his throat, “Letting each other know.”

“I _know_ that.” Steven sighed dramatically. He shook his head as if to lament the ignorance of adults. “They’ve always liked each other.” He brightened. “Do you think Mr. James is going to marry Mom? Jeremy’s mom just married her boyfriend and how he’s Jeremy’s dad. I hope Mr. James marries Mommy. He makes her smile and then I’d have a dad, too.”

Steve cleared his throat and shifted on his feet.

“Are you Steve? Mr. James said that he had a friend named Steve. They used to go to play baseball and go to Coney Island and do stuff. Mr. James said that he missed Steve. Then he got really sad.”

“Yeah.” Steve said softly. “I’m Steve.” The pain he felt was familiar, but sharpened.

Steven’s eyes widened. “That is so awesome. Captain America is friends with Mr. James.” He stared at Bucky in awe.

“We just haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“Mom says that Mr. James was in a war and that sometimes he gets really sad or angry and doesn’t want to talk or be around anyone, even if he really loves them. She says that we should be patient and tell him we care about him, and then we go to the park when he feels better. Maybe you can go to the park with Mr. James.” Steven smiled up at Steve. “He likes walking.”

“I’ll remember that. Thanks, kid.”

“So can I have ice cream?”

Steve laughed at Steven’s wide-eyed and innocent look. Bucky had warned him. “No, not tonight.”

“But tomorrow?” Steven pressed, maintaining his hopeful expression.

“You’ll have to ask your ma.” Steve wasn’t entirely certain he had ice cream. Tony probably did somewhere. He’d have to ask J.A.R.V.I.S.

Steven was certainly something else.

But observing Bucky and his girl, and looking down at her kid, Steve knew that the excitement hadn’t even begun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky snorted. “I’m not charming. You’re delusional. You’re going senile, punk.”
> 
> Steve arched an eyebrow. “You’re older than me, jerk. What does that make you?”
> 
> “A proud antique.”

Steve had shown Noelle and Steven to an empty bedroom. Uncertain of how it would be received, Bucky had pulled Noelle aside and pressed a bundle of clothing into her hands. He had stashed a change of clothing that he had purchased for her and Steven in his bag. Noelle had stared at the bundle before bursting into tears. Not knowing what else to do, Bucky held her close. “Mom cries a lot.” Steven had supplied helpfully.

Noelle had cried even more when Bucky produced his Captain America bear and gave it to Steven. “Can you look after him for me tonight?” Bucky asked solemnly. Steven nodded eagerly.

Steve had observed the interaction with thinly masked curiosity from a respectful distance.

Bucky stood watch in the hallway while Noelle and Steven slept. The silence was familiar, but did not bring its usual solace.

“How long have you been in Manhattan?” Steve’s question was quiet, almost resigned.

Bucky closed his eyes. He knew his answer would hurt Steve.

“Does it matter?”

“No, but I’d like to know.” Steve leaned his back against the wall, standing four feet away. He crossed his arms loosely. “I was looking for you.”

“Well, I always was the hide-and-seek master.” Bucky’s attempt at levity elicited the faintest of smiles and a soft snort.

“Yeah.” Steve nudged the ground with his foot.

Bucky looked away, uncomfortable in the silent interlude. “Since April.”

Steve nodded and stared down at the ground.

Silence.

“How did you two meet?”

Bucky glanced at the door with a faint, but distinctly happy, smile. He succinctly summarized the history of their relationship, carefully avoiding instances that revealed his mental struggles or a breach of Noelle’s privacy. Doubtless Steve inferred that he struggled. There was no need to discuss it.

“I’m glad you found a woman like her.” Steve said. Pride squared Bucky’s shoulders. “And that kid, he’s something else.”

Bucky couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah, he’s a good kid.”

“He asked for ice cream, you know.”

“I said he would, didn’t I?” Bucky replied with a shrug. “Steven loves ice cream – gets it from his ma.”

“Steven also said that you like walking.” The words were carefully spoken.

Bucky glanced at Steve with slightly narrowed eyes. “What’s your point?” There was an edge to his voice.

Steve shrugged. “No point.”

Bucky snorted.

Steve turned to face Bucky square on. “Look, I know a lot happened. And I know that remembering doesn’t mean you trust me. But I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Any time.”

Bucky nodded. He couldn’t look at Steve, so he stared at the ground. He swallowed hard and sighed softly. “I do trust you, Steve.” He pinned Steve with his eyes. “I sent you my heart.”

Steve looked at the closed door and smiled. He exhaled a brief laugh. “You always were a charmer.”

Bucky snorted. “I’m not charming. You’re delusional. You’re going senile, punk.”

Steve arched an eyebrow. “You’re older than me, jerk. What does that make you?”

“A proud antique.”

Steve smiled slightly and shook his head. “I have two good friends that I can call. They’ll be here in a heartbeat. They can help protect your girl and her son until something permanent is established. Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanov.” Steve winced slightly. “You’ve already met them.”

Bucky remembered.

Natasha Romanov… Bucky definitely remembered Natalia. He glanced at Noelle’s door. Of all the gin joints in the world…

“Noelle’s brother-in-law runs some high-end security firm. I’m sure he’ll be able to do something, too.”

Steve arched an eyebrow.

Bucky glowered. “Damn museum wasn’t great for anonymity.”

Steve nodded. He was quiet for a moment. “Why do I have a feeling that you’re not going to move from that spot tonight?”

“Because I’m not going to.” Bucky noticed the change in Steve’s stance with slight panic. “I’ll be fine here. You don’t need to stay up on my account.”

Steve’s expression was distinctly hurt. “Oh.” He looked away. He puffed out a frustrated breath. His lips formed a thin line. “Why did you pull me from the river?” His tone indicated that the question had been pressing on his mind.

“I don’t know.” It was the easiest answer.

“I don’t believe you.”

Bucky merely shrugged. He really didn’t want to have this conversation.

Damn emotions.

“Alright. We don’t have to talk about it.” Steve said finally.

Bucky nodded his appreciation.

“So which Harry Potter book was your favorite?”

0

The night passed uneventfully. They kept the conversation light and avoided overly personal topics of conversation; they mainly bonded over pop culture difficulties. There had been a rather rousing discussion over the sorting of Hermione Granger and which character was most villainous. They caught themselves on multiple occasions raising their voices and had to remind each other to keep quiet while Noelle and Steven were sleeping on the other side of the wall. Bucky still felt a gulf between himself and Steve, but they were building a fragile rope bridge across it.

Surprisingly, Noelle was the first to stumble out of the bedroom. The shock of the light from the hallway caused her to squint unhappily at Bucky. Her hair was hilariously mused and there were faint red lines on her left cheek and arm that spoke of a solid night’s rest.

Noelle groaned and leaned head-first into Bucky’s chest. “Coffee.” Noelle mumbled.

Bucky chuckled and held her close. She snuggled closer. “Steve’s already on it. And don’t worry – he firmly believes that strong coffee is the only coffee.”

“Smart man.” Noelle yawned. “Knew I liked him.”

Bucky squeezed her gently. Noelle was normally an abominably perky person in the mornings, even before she was caffeinated. He imagined she hadn’t slept enough, and the night before had been very taxing. She’d probably had nightmares. Bucky tried to push the guilt aside. He pressed a kiss to the top of Noelle’s head and simply held her for a few minutes before gently leading her to her people juice.

If she was content to lean limply against him and grumble against the light of day, that was just fine with Bucky.

He was just glad she was safe.

“Coffee’s done.” Steve announced quietly.

His arm snaked around her waist. He led her to the kitchen where a steaming white mug of coffee waited. The mug looked gigantic, captured between her hands. “Want some breakfast? Steve said there was cereal and frozen waffles.”

Noelle hitched a shoulder. “Not hungry.”

Bucky nodded slightly. “Alright.” He studied Noelle.

“How do you feel?”

Another shrug.

Something was bothering Noelle. He could see it.

He hesitated for a moment. “Is there something we need to talk about?”

Noelle glanced up at him. For a moment, she only blinked owlishly. Bucky impassively held her gaze. Finally, she sighed and put her coffee on the counter she was leaning against. “I’m just trying to process last night.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, looking at the ground. She closed her eyes briefly and looked back up at him. “It was almost my worst nightmare come true.”

Unsure of whether she would appreciate it, he tentatively touched her shoulder. She reached up and grasped it. Her grip was firm. Noelle stepped closer to Bucky and slowly wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m worried about you.” She whispered into his chest. “And I’m worried about Steven. He’s at such an impressionable age, and I don’t know how to explain this to him.”

“I’m sorry, Noelle.” Bucky’s ragged voice reflected the turmoil he felt. Noelle tipped her head back, making her frown visible.

“For what?”

“If it wasn’t for me...”

“Steven and I would be dead. Or kidnapped.” Noelle bit out. “I probably would have been raped that night in the alley – turns out the guy had a thing for murdering his victims. Not to mention all the good you’ve done for Steven.” She bit her lip somewhat shyly. “All the good you’ve done for me.”

“But...”

“Yeah, Grant Ward and HYDRA scare the bejeebers out of me. I’m still terrified that he’ll get you or Steven.” She smiled suddenly. It was small and strained, but there was still a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. “But as a wise person once told me, we can’t promise each other tomorrow. And I won’t let fear stop me from living my life.” She held him tighter. “And I very much want you to be a part of that life.”

Bucky chuckled and sighed. He pulled Noelle back in. “You are a hard woman to argue with.”

“I know. Now shut up. It’s coffee time.”

0

“Mike says you have and he are going to be having a nice long chat.” Noelle looked up from her phone with a wry smile.

Bucky lifted an eyebrow. “He also said something about teaching me the meaning of pain if I hurt you.”

Noelle shrugged. “He’s got a few new toys and he’s looking for a reason to test them out.” She smirked. “You’ve given him an excellent one two-times over.”

There was a rustle in the distance. “Steve’s back. He brought some company.” Bucky said quietly.

Her eyes widened. “I haven’t even showered yet.” She groaned. Noelle self-consciously attempted to tidy her hair and straighten her t-shirt. She winced. Meeting people in the clothes from the day before, without a stitch of make-up, hair unbrushed, and teeth unwashed was hardly an auspicious beginning.

“You look beautiful.”

Noelle’s hands stilled at Bucky’s earnest words. She managed a small smile. She reached over and squeezed his hand.

Steve entered the kitchen flanked by Natalia and a man Bucky surmised was Sam Wilson. Bucky remembered the man – Sam Wilson had been in the car protecting Steve and Natalia. By the expression on Wilson’s face, he remembered, too. But Natalia’s face was characteristically calm. Bucky watched her as she approached. He didn’t realize his hold on Noelle’s waist had tightened.

“Ms. Grey, this Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanov. Sam and Nat, this is Noelle Grey. And, of course, Bucky Barnes.”

“Yeah, I know who the dude is.” Wilson eyed Bucky.

“Fancy seeing you here, Noelle.” Natasha said with a smirk.

Noelle recovered from her astonishment. She laughed and stepped forward to briefly hug Natasha. “I thought you looked familiar – you were adamant that I was wrong!”

Natasha shrugged.

“You two know each other?” Bucky asked with no small amount of surprise. It was evident that Steve and Wilson were similarly befuddled.

“Yeah!” The women answered in unison.

“What can I say?” Natalia smirked. “It’s a small world.”

“I took Natasha’s self-defense seminar after I was attacked.” Noelle explained. “Joy and I sometimes went to her yoga classes at the Y, too. Although I know her as Natalie.”

“So that’s what you do in your free time.” Steve said.

Bucky wasn’t entirely certain how to feel. Although he no longer harbored any kind of romantic feelings towards Natalia, she had still filled a very important role in his life all those years ago. And he had never told Noelle about her. Doubt gnawed on his gut. Should he have? He hadn’t been trying to hide it and he wasn’t ashamed of his past with Natalia, but he didn’t know how Noelle would respond and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their relationship.

“I cannot thank you enough for doing this.” Noelle’s voice penetrated the haze in his mind. “Really, Steven and I really appreciate it.” Bucky nodded. He couldn’t speak. Noelle’s glance at him, worried. “Bucky, too.”

Natasha shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

Wilson looked at Steve out of the corner of his eye. “Really, Rogers. Really. You had us looking all over the damn world and he was two blocks away the entire time?” He shook his head. “And you call yourself an Avenger.”

Noelle immediately rose to Steve’s defense. “It was more than two blocks.”

“Whoa.” The reverent whisper captured the adult’s attention. Steven stared, wide-eyed, at Captain America, Falcon, and Black Widow. His Captain America bear hung at his side, loosely held in his left hand, forgotten. “Jeremy is gonna be so jealous.”

“Good morning, sweetie.” Noelle moved to stand by her son. She greeted him with a warm hug. “Why don’t we get you some breakfast?

“Mom, Mr. James is friends with super heroes.” Steven’s eyes were comically large. Noelle tousled his hair.

“Yes, he is.”

“That is so _cool_.” He ran up to Wilson and stared up at him. “You’re Falcon.” His attention shifted. “And you’re Black Widow. You guys are _awesome_.”

Bucky, having migrated closer to Noelle, carefully observed their interactions. Wilson knelt down in front of Steven and smiled.

“That’s right. And you must be Steven.” Wilson grinned. “Captain America was telling us all about you.”

Steven’s mouth fell open. Bucky couldn’t help the proud smile that spread across his face when he saw Steven light up.

“I think his year was just made.” Noelle remarked under her breath. Bucky agreed. “Alright, sweetie, let’s get you some food. I think Mr. James needs to talk to them.”

“But Mom...”

Ignoring his pleas, Noelle gently ushered Steven away and sat him at one of the bar stools with a bowl of cereal.

Bucky turned his attention to the newcomers, all smiles gone.

“She your girl?” Wilson gestured at Noelle’s retreating figure with his head. Natalia seemed interested in the answer.

Bucky folded his arms across his chest. He raised an eyebrow.

Wilson shook his head.

“You did good, Barnes.” Natalia said softly. Steve cleared his throat. Bucky recognized his expression – he never was one for gabbing when there was a plan to be made, which Bucky appreciated in this instance.

The tactical meeting was short and productive. Noelle slipped Bucky her phone to allow Mike to join. It was clear that Noelle wished she was part of the meeting, but Steven took greater precedence. Bucky and Mike did their best to accommodate Noelle’s wishes and feelings, but they would rather she or Steven be safe and seething than captured – or worse.

0

Bucky smiled softly when Noelle saddled up to him. He was leaning back against the wall, safely tucked away in the corner of the room, monitoring the competitive game Steven and his bodyguards were playing. Noelle stood just next to him, their arms almost touching. “I found the tea.”

“Is that...blueberry?”

Noelle nodded. “Mhm.”

“I gotta say, it’s nice to see someone else get demolished by Steven. That kid is too good at Mario Kart.” Bucky remarked.

Noelle laughed. “You just say that because you’re tired of being beaten.”

“I won once!” Bucky defended, lower lip slightly extended.

“Steven forgot to pause the game when I called him to set the table.” Noelle said wryly.

Bucky lifted his chin. His lip twitched with a suppressed smile. “I still won.”

Noelle patted his arm. “Yes, dear.”

The broadest smile spread across his face at the endearment. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. A faint blush crept over her cheeks, but her smile was distinctly pleased. “Isn’t this their third match?”

Bucky shook his head. “Fourth. They finished the third when you were getting tea. Wilson’s playing now, too. He’s not doing too badly – he’s a little behind Steven. Natalia is gaining on Wilson – she’ll probably overtake him shortly, though probably not Steven. Don’t know how he does it.”

“And Steve?”

Bucky winced.

“Ah.”

They watched the competition in companionable silence.

“So you and Natasha.” Noelle casually sipped her tea.

“Yeah, we’ll be with you at all times when you and Steven are at the school, but you won’t even notice. I promise.”

Noelle arched an eyebrow with a wry smile. “Except for when Danielle moves in a few days and Natasha becomes my new teacher’s assistant. I’m fairly certain I’ll notice her then.”

Bucky shot her an exasperated look that was met with an innocent grin. Finally, he chuckled.

Noelle shook her head. “But that’s not what I was talking about.”

A hard lump formed in his throat. He tried to swallow it. “Ah.”

She touched his arm. “It’s okay, Bucky. Really. I’m not upset. You’re allowed to have exes.”

Bucky crossed his arms and looked down. “I know. It’s not that. I mean, it is, but...” Noelle didn’t press. He sighed, hesitating briefly. “It was when I was an instructor in the Red Room.”

Noelle’s mouth hung open, eyes wide. “Natasha… How awful...” It seemed that she wanted to say more, but lacked the words. It was a feeling he understood well.

“I don’t care for her – in that respect – anymore.” He pinned Noelle with his eyes, willing her to understand. “I need you to know that. It’s only you. You’re the only woman I want.”

Noelle’s answering smile was sympathetic and supportive. “I know. I never doubted that.”

Bucky blinked. It was not he answer he was expecting.

“It’s nice to hear you say it, but I know.” She reached out and held his hand. “I see the way you look at her and the way you look at me.” She shrugged. “And by the looks of it, her and Steve...” She trailed off with a grin.

“Natalia and Steve?” He looked as flabbergasted as he felt.

Noelle arched an eyebrow. “You may be a trained assassin, but I’m a woman. We know these things. There’s definitely some interest, at least on Steve’s part.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment. “She and I… For that brief time, we saved each other. Kept each other sane.”

“What happened?”

Bucky shrugged. “Life.”

Noelle squeezed his hand.

Bucky tilted his head slightly, carefully observing the interaction between Steve and Natalia. Steve occupied the recliner, while Natalia sat on the sofa. They were separated by Steven and Wilson. All eyes were fixated on the television screen. Steve did glance at Natalia once, but then she had just made a loud exclamation.

He would have to continue to observe their interactions. They were not a pairing he would have expected, but God knows Steve needed a good woman. The corners of Bucky’s lips curled upwards in amusement at the thought of Steve trying to flirt with Natalia. He couldn’t imagine Steve had become any more competent at flirting than he was seventy years ago.

“Bucky?”

He looked down when Noelle softly said his name. She was looking up at him.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Bucky smiled. Everything else disappeared, looking in her eyes. “Me too, sweetheart.” He snaked his fingers through hers. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> For those who are familiar with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Grant Ward, in my canon this takes place just after he kills his family and before the whole Cara/Agent 33 thing. And if you haven't seen AoS, you should - it's amazing and brings all the feels.


End file.
